Getting help to unleash my full potential

If I had to describe my run this morning I would say it was an "awakening." Because I have run so many ultra races in the past two months, my speed has taken a beating as a result. When I ran with Ken he pushed it a little faster today than I was expecting and even asked me when my last tempo run was. I joked to him that it was probably over a year ago.

I've been going into each race with the mentality of just finishing. I've been fortunate that I've done well with this philosophy but it is the best that I could have done? I really would have to say no. I've been leaving something on the race courses and it has started to bother me.

It's a fine line, for me, between running "smart" and running "safe" and I think I've been running more "safe" lately. Sometimes it takes the help of a friend to remind you of where you were and what you are capable of and that happened today for me. I have to start bridging the gap between running safely and smartly and that will start this Saturday in Niagara Falls.

I enjoy pushing myself to new limits and I'm driven to accomplish new goals. It used to be enough for me just to say that I have completed a race and that's what I've done for the last few races I've done. Sometimes the fear of the unknown makes us cautious in our approach to things. I truly believe, though, that to do my best, I need to let go of the fear that I have and just push myself through those pain barriers. I know that if I'm not feeling pain after this Saturday, then I would not have pushed myself as hard as I should have.

Getting mentally focused requires discipline

When I do my race on Saturday (50K in Niagara Falls) it will be my 5th Ultra race since April 19th. I've been doing more distance races than ever before and my feet are taking a beating as a result. I'm seriously considering having my remaining toenails removed to avoid the inevitable.

Although I have done well at the previous races, I seem to have left something on the course at each of them. Somehow I feel that complacency has set in. This weekend I really want to push myself a little harder than I have.

There really is no reason for me not to have a good race, other than outside influences of course. Part of that means getting more disciplined and focused this week. I know what I need to do, as I spend the majority of the time telling this to my clients. What I need to do this week is start taking more of my own advice.

A big part of that means getting more sleep. It also means eating a little healthier. Both of these have slipped a little over the last few weeks. The important thing to remember when these times happen is to become more accountable. Even though I don't like using weight scales, it's important to use something to motivate me. Although my body fat is low (12%) my weight has gone up a little (165) and I know that I run my best at around 160. Knowing this I will become more diligent with my eating as the race approaches. This is all part of the mental focus that I need to have.

Because I've done this race twice before, I know the trouble spots and the strategy that I need to employ in order to get the result I want. I have a goal time that I want to reach but I will save this for later in the week.

Running slower to ensure that my passion continues

Yesterday I was able to mingle with a diverse group of runners. In the morning I met with my trail running friends and in the evening it was runners who mostly do road marathons. It was quite interesting listening to the different conversations about running. There is no good/bad, right/wrong way with regards to running. Some prefer the marathon distances where they can push themselves to run faster and faster. Others like to see how much endurance they can squeeze out of their bodies. The two groups are not necessarily mutually exclusive as I have done both speed marathons and now ultramarathons. When I listened to a few of the runners last night talk about their injuries, however, it made me realize that for now, speed isn't something I'm concerned with.

I'm sure the allure of running the Boston Marathon will get to me sooner or later but my timetable for trying to qualify for that race is when I turn 45 in 2012. Until then, I want to be able to ensure that I'm able to run at least 5 days per week.

It was really sad listening to a few of the runners who were injured. Some have been off for months. I thought to myself how lucky I am to be still doing what I love and (knock on wood) staying relatively healthy throughout. I'm sure that running smarter has lots to do with that.

When I got up this morning I contemplated running with a group of people that I know but I decided against it. The one fear that I have is getting caught up in someone elses' pace.

I will be doing a 50 K race next Saturday in Niagara Falls and this is one race where it will be easy to get caught up in trying to run fast. The course is relatively flat and on a bikepath. Amazingly enough I was running great last year and then got lost about 1KM from the finish which robbed me of a better time. I remember how much pain I was in last year after that race. My calves seized up on me and I could barely walk. Since I've changed my approach to running slower and smarter, I have not had these same problems.

There will be so many people that I know who will be doing that race that I could probably count the number of people who I don't know on one hand. Most of them are people I run with in the OUS (Ontario Ultra Series) so running slowly won't be a problem for me.

I want to wish all the Fathers out there a very happy Fathers Day. One of the greatest joys in my life came 10 years ago when my oldest son was born on the weekend of Fathers Day. Take the time to spend some quality time with your Father today. As a father, I know they'll appreciate it.

Back on the trails today

Today I did my first long trail run since my last race in Sulphur. The goal was to go nice and easy for a minimum of 3 hours. I really felt it today and the mosquitos were enjoying most of me as I have bites all over my body. I ended up walking the last few K's but that gave me a chance to talk with an amazing Trail runner. I was able to get some tips and just enjoy spending time in the trails.

The overall time was just 3 hours and 45 minutes and my feet are still recovering. It was nice to be back on the trails again but it reminded me how important it is to continue running there at least once per week.

Tomorrow I will do between 10-12 miles, probably on the road, to recover from today's run.

An amazing story to tell

I must see about 100 clients over a two week span of work and some stand out a little more than others. There is one client who has really rekindled my own memories of my former self and I just had to tell a little bit about him today.

He is 15 years old and when I first saw him he was close to 200 pounds and stood about 5'5. Being a teenager is difficult enough but trying to lose weight amongst friends who would rather hang out at McDonalds and the video arcase cand be even tougher. He has never missed an appointment with me,which is incredible, and he works out at least 6 days per week. He reminds me of myself at that age, although I was even heavier than he is.

Each week when I see him and we do a weigh-in he continues to drop weight. The transformation is incredible and his trainer and I are constantly talking about how well he is doing. At our last weigh in he was down to 175 pounds and the look on his face was priceless. He knows that he still wants to lose more weight but he also can reflect on how well he is doing.

When I think about some of my older clients who are struggling I can always relate to them the story of this young man and it provides them with some inspiration. Each client I see has their own challenges that they must overcome but having been overweight as a teenager, I know how difficult this can be. I also know that he is changing his life around at a great time and I'm confident that he will continue to live a healthy life. Who knows, maybe in 20 years he'll be doing nutrition counseling and writing a blog like I do. You never can tell right?

Blame it on the music

Today the plan was to go nice and easy for just over 6 miles. Unfortunately my body had other ideas but I’m placing the blame squarely on my new mp3 player.

During my run yesterday my mp3 player died a sudden death, probably from getting too much water, and I had to get a new one. It’s amazing how small they are making these things. I purchased one that was about ½ the size of my old one.

Today I felt very strong and tried my best to hold myself back but it was not going to happen today. Instead, I ran for just over 9 miles and loved every minute of it. Every time I wanted to stop, a song would come on that I hadn’t heard in a long time and it made me want to run. I mean, who can stop running when they hear the theme song to “Rocky?” (LOL)

People have often told me that they are motivated by what I’ve been able to accomplish and it is flattering and overwhelming at times as I really don’t feel like I’m doing anything that lots of people do. I do realize that I’m much focused and have made a commitment to living a healthy lifestyle. To some that means sacrificing certain things but I don’t see it that way. I am constantly motivated by the clients I see on a daily basis and that’s what keeps me going. I also know that music during my running can really pump me up emotionally. I feel so energized after a run and I can’t wait until the next time I lace up my shoes.

Experience is a great teacher

Today was my first run since my race on Saturday. It seems I'm always coming off of a race but this will be my last until early July. I'm becoming very familiar with easing myself back into running long distances following a race. I've done the smart thing and not push it too much during my first run after a race and that's what I did today.

My legs felt a little tired and "heavy" for the first part of the run but my pace picked up a little bit towards the middle and end. I played it safe and ran for just over 6 miles today. The fact that my mp3 player died during my run made it easier for me not to run too far. I've had that same player for about a year now but it's time to get a new one. I'm glad it didn't die on me during my race last weekend.

Music has a great way of motivating me and the music I pick usually has a running "theme" to it. During my race on Saturday when I heard the song "Running on Empty" I was tired but I knew that I had to run while listening to that song. Walking to it just wouldn't have done it or me justice. So, today, I must find a new mp3 player. I've become so accustomed to it that I know that I would have a hard time running without one.

Tomorrow I will go a little longer, probably 8 miles, but this week will be all about just running for "feel" rather than running with a plan.

So, what's next?

After completing my last race on the weekend and giving myself the customary 24 hours to reflect on it, it's time once again to look towards my next goal.

I had hoped to do the 50K race in Niagara Falls in two weeks but family committments will not allow that to happen. That race has special meaning to me as it was the first time I completed an ultra-marathon (2006).

However, in my quest to do as many "first time" races as possible, I have turned my attention to the race on July 7th. It is called the Creemore Vertical Challenge:


Many of the trail runners I spoke with on Saturday told me how difficult that race is so the fact that I have about a month to train for it will suit me well.

My legs are feeling surprisingly good and I will be hitting either the trails or the roads tomorrow for an hour or so. I took today off from running but did some weight lifting for about an hour.

A nice "bounceback" effort yesterday

Let me just say how much I love the whole race day experience. There is something magical about it for me as I anticipate what I'm about to accomplish. It's all about the reward for all the hard work I've put in with my running.

My race day started at 4:30 AM. As is typical, I beat my alarm as my body just seems to know when it's time to get up. After my morning routine, which included two trips to the bathroom, 1 cup of tea and final check of my race bag, I was off to Kingston.

I left my house just shortly before 6:00 AM. It's been years since I've been to Kingston and I forgot how nice the drive was. We are truly blessed in Ontario with a nice stretch of highway.

I arrived at just before 8:00 AM. I immediately noticed so many familiar faces. Most, if not all, of the people came up to me to ask me how I was feeling after the Sulphur 100 mile race. They knew that it was my first attempt and congratulated me on my efforts. I mingled with as many people as I could as I prepared for my race.

The temperatures were in the high 20's to early 30's and the "track" that we ran on was an old horse track 800 Metres (1/2 mile) long. The rules were simple, each time we crossed the start/finish line we had to wave/get the attention of the table that we were assigned to so that they could keep track of how many laps we did. Each 4 laps was the equivalent to 5 KM's.

There was a group photo taken just before our race and then some final instructions about the heat. Because we were going to be running for 6 hours, there was a very real possibility of heat exhaustion. We are all experienced runners but it’s still important to stress the need for taking in fluids and electrolytes on such a hot day. I’m fortunate because the heat doesn’t seem to bother me as much as it bothers other people. In fact, I prefer to run in warm temperatures.

There was an aid/food station set up about 300 Metres from the start/finish line. I had no idea of what strategy to employ as I hadn’t run a timed race before. It usually takes me about an hour to warm up anyway, so I decided to run the first hour and see how I felt after that.

After that first hour there was an amazing group of kids who were volunteering at about 200 Metres from the start/finish area. They had buckets of water with sponges. As the runners ran by them they handed the sponges and we used them to keep ourselves cool. I could not have asked for better support during this race. I seemed to connect with one of the kids and he would run with me a little bit and then hand me the sponge. I used this on every other lap and it really helped to keep me cool and provided me with a boost of energy at the same time.

Eventually my strategy was to run 6 laps and then stop for some food and to fill up my water bottle. This worked out to every 30-34 minutes. As the race progressed the laps became more like every 4 as the heat started to take its toll. I saw many experienced runners having to walk most of the race as the heat was just too much for them.

At about the 4 hour mark my right hip started to really hurt and I had to do more walking then running. This lasted for about 20 minutes or so. After taking some Advil, I was feeling a little better and then I started to run more. I made sure that I didn’t walk anymore than I had to. My feet were on fire and I knew that I had several blisters and that I’d probably need a new toenail or two.

I was never happier to see the time on the clock read 5 hours because I knew the last hour would be run on guts. Knowing that only 1 more hour was left in the race brought out lots of confidence in me and I actually had a few good laps left in me. With about 15 minutes left in the race we were handed a plastic bag of dirt with our name on it. Once the clock hit 6 hours, we had to stop running and place our bag on the ground. This was done so that they could measure the distance we covered. At 6 hours in, or 3 PM, there was a loud honking of car horns and that signified that the race was over.

After high-fiving as many people as I could, it was time to see how I did. My totals were 54.59 KM’s which put me 16th overall and the 11th Male overall. I was very happy with my performance considering the amount of races I’ve done since April (50 Mile, 50 K, 68 Mile and today’s race). As I took off my socks I confirmed what I had suspected, another two lost toenails and two large blisters. After a quick change of clothes, I was back in my car for the long drive home to Ajax.

I’ll need a few days to heal up but I actually feel pretty good as I type this. My next race probably won’t be until July so I can do some nice running between now and then.

Thoughts about this weekend

This will be another "first" for me on Saturday as I compete in my first timed race. I will be running a 1 KM loop for 6 hours and at the end of the 6 hours the KM's will be counted up to see how far I got. When I looked at the race results from last year there were people doing crazy distances (78 K) and moderate distances (40 K) so it's hard to know where exactly I'll end up.

The best part of the race is that I'll be rubbing elbows, or in this case running shoes, with some truly great trail runners. I'll run my own race but it will be nice to chat with some of the runners while I'm at it. I do plan to run with music but will try not to use it until the 2nd half of the race.

When I run in trail races it's easier to take walk breaks because of the hills that are there but with a road race I have to make sure that I take the time to stop and walk a little. Because I've never done this kind of race before I'll use the first hour to get myself warmed up and then start doing a regular walk break every 4-5 loops. It really doesn't matter to me how fast I go because everyone has to run for the same amount of time. This will be my 4th long distance race since April so it will be interesting to see what kind of effort I can put forth.

After this race I probably won't be doing another long race until July which will give me more time to just run for the enjoyment of it. The weather is getting warmer which is just what I love to run in. All I have to do is remember some of those long winter runs and you won't have to worry about me complaining about how hot it is.

Pushing it a little more today

Most people know that my favorite weather to run in is rain so I got a nice serving of that this morning. It wasn't a terrential downpour, which is what I thought was going to happen, but instead it was a steady rain. The weather was warm and I was so thankful I decided not to wear my jacket.

The plan was to run a little longer today than I did on the weekend. After taking a day off yesterday to do some weights, my legs were refreshed and when I left the house there was no pain in my shins/ankles so I knew that it was going to be a good run.

I kept an even pace, except when a fast song came on my mp3, and decided not to stop to refuel. I ended up running for 9 miles and felt amazing afterwards. I would usually be in a taper mode with a race coming up on Saturday but I also want to make sure I'm not too "rusty" by the time the weekend comes. Tomorrow I want to run for 10 miles and then rest for the next two days.

I've been reading a very good website called "running for recovery." I think that those of us who do run on a regular basis would say that running is therapeutic for them. I know that it is in my case. It's a fine line between passion and obsession and I admit that sometimes I cross that line. I also know that running has a trickle down effect on my life that no other activity that I've done has had for me.
Those who are closest to me will constantly remind me about keeping proper balance. It is something that I strive to do.

Playing it smart is not always the easiest thing to do

I had visions of doing a long run today. In my mind I though about a minimum of 2 hours. Then after doing more research on recovering after running an Ultramarathon I realized how foolish that would have been. I'm sure I could have done it but at what price?

Instead, I did the smart thing which was to add a little bit onto what I did yesterday. I ran for just over 8 miles instead of the 11-15 I was going to run. As a result I feel better and my legs are almost at full strength now.

Because I have another race next weekend, I'll need to make sure I don't push it too much over the next few days. What I'll probably do is increase my mileage slowly over the next three days and then take two days off before the race to rest.

This will be a very unique race that I'll be doing. It's a 6 hour timed event. I will be running a 1 KM loop from 9 AM until 3 PM. At that point every runner stops and their distance is calculated. It will interesting to see how many KM's I can do in this amount of time but my main focus is to use this run as a way to get to know even more of the trail runners as all of them will be there.

During the end of my run today I thought back to last weekend. Although I know I made the right decision, a part of me knows that I now have "unfinished business." What that means is that I will attempt another 100 miler at some point. I thought about the mistakes I made not only during the race but my psyche as I entered it. All winter I had trained for the 50 Miler at Seaton and that was my main focus. It was only after I had completed that, that I decided to attempt a 100 miler. I know, now, that my mind was not where it needed to be.

With regards to training, I should have done more runs at Sulphur and especially at night. In fact, I hadn't done any late night runs in the trails before that race. That was a huge oversight on my part.

Having talked to many experienced Ultra runners I also know that I shouldn't have stopped for as long as I did at each aid station. When I do my next one I'll grab something and head out right away. The longer I stayed, the harder it was for me to get back into a rhthym again.

I was surprised at how well my stomach adapted to so many new foods during that race. At least now I know that I can use things like Ensure or Boost to get me through when my energy levels are low.

I knew that my competive disposition would eventually get the better of me and now I know that I must complete a 100 miler so that I can move onto my next goal. Whatever that is..............

Back on the trails today

A funny thing happened to me on the way to my Saturday morning run in the Rouge Valley. The group that I normally run with decided to run at the Seaton Trail instead. I didn't get the notification of the change as most thought that I would still be recovering from last weekend's race. I guess they don't know me that well (LOL)

In any case, I left the Rouge parking lot just shortly after 8 AM. My shin wasn't as sore as yesterday's run but now my left hip started to bother me. I ran nice and slow and walked most of the longer hills.

At the half-way point of the run, I started to feel a little better and picked up my pace. I managed to run every hill on the way back which I was proud of. Towards the end of the run the sun shone through the trees and it felt like there was a gigantic spotlight on me. It reminded me of a scene from a movie and I had to say out loud how amazing this was.

Tomorrow I will do a semi-long run. I'd like to run for at least a couple of hours but it will depend on how I'm feeling. I have another race next weekend so it's better that I just run for as long as I can and not worry too much about the distance or how fast I'm going. Who knows, maybe I'll even leave my watch behind tomorrow. I have to chuckle at the thought of a "long" run being 2 hours. After running for 19 hours last weekend, those long runs don't seem so long anymore.

Peace of mind

As luck would have it, I had a long break between clients today so I decided to go for my first run since my race.

As I headed out, the first song on my mp3 was "Peace of Mind" by Boston. I thought that this was appropriate and I had a small grin on my face as I headed out. Most people know that I love to run in the rain and so of course it started to rain as I began my run.

Those first few steps were pure agony. My right shin was so sore and the thought of even doing a KM seemed out of my reach. I knew, though, if I could get through the first few KM's, eventually the pain would go away. My mind likes to play games with me and it was almost as if I was being punished for taking so many days off from running. I viewed this as a test and kept going.

Luckily, my baby toe was fine and I honestly thought I'd have more trouble with that than anything. The sharp pain that I felt in my shin was now starting to throb a little but I kept thinking about just living in the moment.

It wasn't until I was about 30 minutes into the run that the pain let up and I started to feel better. It's such a fine line between being "hurt" and "injured" and I try my best to work through any pain I'm having as I know it's temporary.

The last mile of my run was the best part as a song came on called "Lightning Strikes." One of my favorite parts of the song is when the singer belts out, "I can feel it coming back again, like a rolling thunder chasing the wind." That really summed up the last part of my run as I could feel myself getting stronger and stronger. I made the right decision not to run too long today as my main focus was just getting myself recovered from last week.

I'll see how the rest of the weekend progresses, but so far so good!

It's been a LONG week!

This was one of the hardest weeks I've ever gone through and it's because I haven't been able to run since my race ended at 1:30 AM Sunday morning. I've been waiting all week for the opportunity to go and run and today will be the day.
I'm teaching a very special lady how to run this afternoon and can't wait to lace up my shoes. My baby toe is still a little sore but it shouldn't stop me from doing my run.

My plan is to do a long run on Saturday and/or Sunday but I'm just going to see how I feel. I have missed the feeling of being outside and it has affected my moods in a bad way. I've felt depressed, sad, overweight, sluggish and irritable all week. It's amazing how much not running affects my psyche.

There is a race next weekend in Kingston I am thinking about doing but I won't make a decision on that until the weekend.

Now the rest of the story.....

Yesterday I wrote a brief synopsis of my 100 mile race. Today, I'll try to fill in some of the gaps.

The alarm sounded at 4:00 AM Saturday morning. Cameron, the guy who was sharing the hotel with me and also running the 100 miler, and I left the hotel just after 5:00 AM. When I arrived it was a little cool and the runners were all huddled upstairs waiting for the 6:00 AM start. It was an eary feeling as everyone knew just how difficult this was going to be. I mingled with as many people as I could and then headed outside.

At 6:00 AM it started and as predicted, the first lap was fine. My ankle started to hurt a little but then went away pretty quickly. I chaulked it up to not running for the previous 2 days and a case of the nerves. I ran with my friend Mike for the first loop and we finished it in fine fashion. The hardest part of the race is a long steady climb which seems to go on forever. It is towards the end of the 20K loop and once you get to the top, it is relatively smooth sailing until the turn around point. There were aid stations every 3 KM's or so, so I realized that I would be fine with regards to getting enough fuel into my body.

The 2nd loop started just after 8:40 AM. Mike had to make a "pit-stop/bathroom break" so I decided to just keep on running and I knew that eventually he would catch up. The 2nd loop was very hard and there were times when I thought I was going to pack it in. My knee started to bother me but after taking some advil, I was ok. I made it to the end of the 2nd loop by 11:15 AM.

The 3rd loop I actually started to feel a little better and I was able to run more than I thought. I met so many memorable people along the way. Some I knew from before, some I met for the first time. All of them were helpful and offered so much encouragement. The volunteers were outstanding and did a great job of giving me anything I asked for. I finished the 3rd loop by 2:23 PM. I had now been running for over 8 hours.

The 4th loop really tested me both physically and mentally. I really thought about calling it quits right there. I was walking more and more as my feet were covered in several blisters. I also found myself alone for long stretches which made it difficult to stay focused at times. Eventually I was able to find enough strength to carry on and finished the loop by 5:25 PM.

As I started the 5th loop I was in agony but still able to run some. Everytime I tried to get into a rhythm though, I couldn't keep it going and then I'd get frustrated by having to walk more and more. I tried to walk as fast as I could but that also became difficult. I remember reading about something called the "death march" which happens to Ultra runners while doing these 100 mile races. I was hoping to avoid this but it seemed like that is all that I could do at the time.
My quadraceps were so burning that I needed some relief. Thankfully I was given some ice to keep on my thighs and this helped. I also changed my shoes and socks at this time, which was 1/2 way through the 5th loop. Just as I was getting ready to leave the aid station, I saw Mike come in. I decided to wait for him and finish out the looop. We managed to finish the loop by 9:40 PM. Just before finishing, I took my one and only fall of the day. It was dark by now and I knew that things would change dramatically from here on out.

After getting some light gloves, we left the start/finish area to do the 6th loop. Both Mike and I were very tired at this point and walking in the dark seemed more realistic than trying to run in it. My limp was getting worse and worse and when I made it to the 3KM aid station I thought about stopping. After changing into some warmer clothes, I headed off though. Mike went off without me as he was feeling better than I was. I started out walking slowly but as a familiar friend came up from behind me, I started to pick up my pace and was actually moving pretty well. Just then I heard a "pop" from my foot. I could feel liquid in my shoe and figured it was just a blister bursting. Although painfull, initially, I knew that if I could make it to the next aid station (4 KM's away) then I'd be able to hopefully deal with it there.

When I got to that aid station and took off my sock I could see that my toenail was snapped. Had it been any other toe but the baby one, I probably could have handled it. Unfortunately they didn't have anything at the aid station other than a bandaid. It was another 3K's back to where my drop bag was so I decided to walk back there and see what I could do at that point.

That last walk was very long and painful. I remember asking myself what I was doing. It was after 1:00 AM at this point and I started to hear voices. I didn't want to walk anymore. My head was filled with so much self-doubt that it was depressing. I spoke very little and just kept walking. When I got to the area where my drop bag was I had my helper burst the blister that was surrounding and under my baby toenail. He put a sleeve on it and I decided to try and walk a little bit with it to see if it was going to help. I started up the road and was really limping at this point. I made the decision to stop because I had had enough.

Even though I didn't finish the 100 Mile race, I can feel proud of the fact that I pushed myself to limits that I've never pushed myself to before. Here are the stats:
Total time on my feet: Over 19 hours
Total distance covered: 110 KM's or (68 Miles)
Food/drinks consumed: Pizza (2 slice), Peanut Butter and Jam Sandwiches (3-4), Pretzels, Boost and Ensure drinks (1 each), Potatoes dipped in salt (4), Lasagna, Potato chips, Coke (2 drinks), Marshmellow Square, Bananas, Watermelon

Now, the big question is will I attempt another 100 mile race? The answer today is probably not BUT if I do, it will be at Sulphur again. As for the rest of the year, I will do some 50 K or 50 Mile races between now and the end of October.
My next race will be in 2 weeks where I will be running for 6 hours. Hey, after running for 19, 6 will feel like a walk in the park right?

Disappointed but not upset

Yesterday I attempted my first 100 mile race. I managed to compete 67 miles before a toenail injury forced me to drop out. It was the first time that I haven't completed a race so the sting of that disappointment will linger for a little while but it won't get me down for too long.

I tried everything I could to fix the injury, including bursting the blister under my toenail, but I found that even that failed to help. When I stopped, it was 1:30 AM and the temperature was dropping. Because I wasn't moving very fast, it was hard to keep warm and I was worried about suffering from hypothermia.

It was an experience that I'll never forget and even though I didn't reach my goal, I'll learned a great deal about myself. This was the longest time I've ever run (19 hours) and the longest distance ever (67 miles). I can take pride in that accomplishment.

During my race, I thought about how much I love to run and how I don't need to do so many races in the future. I didn't want to risk further injurying myself which would have taken me away from the one thing I cherish the most. If I would have continued, it would have taken me close to 30 hours to complete and the thought of that was just too much to bear.

As I sit here today, and hobble around my house, I know that I made the right decision and I can be happy with that. I'm going to resume my running, after taking most of this upcoming week off.

One moment in time

There are very few "firsts" in life and tomorrow will certainly be one of those. Since I started running 3 years ago, I can still remember the landmark races that I've done. It's easy for me to put myself back into those races and if I close my eyes I can remember the feelings I felt through those.

Some of my most memorable times running haven't even occured in a race setting. The first time I did a trail run in the Greenwood Conservation Park I can still remember how amazing I felt. There was steam coming off of my body and I've never felt more alive in all my life.

The first "race" that I did was a duathalon (run-bike-run) and I remember that because I quickly found out that my Canadian Tire "special" just wasn't going to cut it in these races. I was pedaling away as fast as I could only to see people in their 50's and 60's passing me on their $1,000 bikes. Even though I was able to pass them on the running portion of the race, it was too frustrating to continue doing these races without an expensive bike so after doing one more duathalon, I decided to focus my attention on running only.

My first 25 K trail race was the Run for the Toad race in October of 2005. What I remember most about that race was how welcoming people were and the amazing food afterwards (LOL).

There have been plenty of "firsts" for me with regards to running but tomorrow will be a day I'm sure I'll never forget. I've never attempted something this "brash" in all my life and it was something that I didn't think I would do. However, goals have a way of springing up when you least expect them and this is exactly what has happened with this race.

It really doesn't matter how well I do, whether I finish or not or how much pain I'm likely to endure. What truly matters is the experience I will get and the memories I will make along the way.

I want to take a moment to thank of you who have emailed me wishing me luck on my race. It truly is overwhelming to know that I have so much support behind me. I'll do my best tomorrow and will have a full report ASAP.

Don't waste your gift

We all have something to offer. For myself, I know that I was given the gift of running 3 years ago and it has changed my life for the better.

At my son's baseball game last night, I was speaking to one of the fathers there. I mentioned to him that I had a race this weekend and he was immediately interested in learning more about it. The subject switched to how I started running in the first place and I revealed to him my separation and how it led to my running. As we spoke more, he also said that he and his wife were having difficulties and that they were probably headed for a separation/divorce themselves. I could tell that he needed someone to talk to so I told him that if he wanted to get together sometime I would be more than willing to help him out in any way possible. He explained to me that most of the friends he had were "her" friends and so he really didn't have much support. It reminded me of my own situation 3 years ago.

This is just one of the many things that running has allowed me to become. I would have never approached someone or offered to meet with someone like that if it was 3 years ago. I lived such a sheltered life then and I too had very few friends at the time.

Since I discovered running, I have been exposed to a different set of people who are all positive and this has had an incredible impact on my own life. In particular, the trail running friends that I have met all seem to embrace the "living for now" philosophy. They are all so welcoming and I've yet to do a race where I've had a bad experience from anyone. I was "adopted" by so many of them that it takes me so long now to say hello to them all (LOL).

My "gift" as I've learned, isn't just about teaching people how to run. The gift that I was given was allowing me to become a better person than I was before. As a result, my ability to communicate with people, like I do with my blog, has increased tremendously. I've been able to touch more people this way, like the father I met last night.

We all are given a gift we just have to figure out what it is and then work hard to enhance it. There are different mediums to improve this gift and thankfully my medium is running. What's yours?

Make today about today!

Wake up! If you knew for certain you had a terminal illness--if you had little time left to live--you would waste precious little of it! Well, I'm telling you...you do have a terminal illness: It's called birth. You don't have more than a few years left. No one does! So be happy now, without reason--or you will never be at all.
Dan Millman

Today was my last run. It may very well be my last run forever. No one is guaranteed tomorrow. I made this run count. Every step was cherished, every breath was calculated, every song that I listened to had special meaning to me. I had more focus on my running technique instead of thinking about what I did yesterday or what I need to do today.

I made sure that I smiled as I ran by the people waiting for their bus. As I was running I looked at everything around me and thought about how lucky I was to be doing what I love to do. When I ran by cars I looked through the window to see if I knew the person, when I did recognize a few people I made sure that I gave them a thumbs up.

I've been shifting my focus from worrying about tomorrow to appreciating what I have today. I'm going to live like there is no tomorrow, or as Dan Millman says, "with a terminal illness." I've been guilty of looking ahead too much and that has resulted in not appreciating the here and now. It is probably why I love trail running so much. When I run in the trails I find the peace that I'm looking for. I swear if I didn't have other committment I WOULD be like Forrest Gump execpt that I would live and run in the trails.

If today was my last run, then I'm happy that I was able to appreciate the journey so much more than I typically would have. In the past, this would have been a very sad day as it's my last run before my race. By making that last run "sad" though, I now realize that I was robbing myself of the joy that I find by just running. Some people have said that I was born to run. Now, I'm not sure about that but I do know that running brings me the inner peace that I long for in my life. Whatever brings you inner peace, I hope that you take the time today, right now, to appreciate it.

Please forgive me.....it's race week!

If I forget to smile during the week,......... please forgive me it's race week!

If I feel like crying when I see someone run, knowing that I can't......please forgive me, it's race week!

If I feel like I've gained 20 pounds after carbo loading for three days....please forgive me, it's race week!

If I seem like I have the "deer in the healights" look all week...........please forgive me, it's race week!

If I have a hard time sleeping this week..........please forgive me, it's race week!

If I start wondering if I've trained enough for my race........please forgive me, it's race week!

If you hear me mumbling to myself about what the hell I was thinking about when I decided to run 100 miles.......please forgive me, it's race week!

If I run to the bathroom every 5 minutes from all the water I need to drink this week.......please forgive me, it's race week!

If you see me eating 6 blueberry bagels over the course of a day......please forgive me, it's race week!

If I start going through withdrawl from the fact that I can't run for most of the week..........please forgive me, it's race week!

And finally.....If I forget to thank all of you who read my blog and have wished me well with my race this week.............please forgive me, it's race week!

Momentum

My idea of momentum is not looking backward but constantly moving forwards. If you are not moving forward then you are living in a world of constant second guesses. When I use momentum with regards to my running it means not allowing myself to stop. This doesn't mean that I won't take a walk break when I need to, but avoiding stops is something that I'll be very conscious of next weekend.

We all have made mistakes in our past and we'll continue to make more in the future. When I refer to myself as trying to be a Peaceful Warrior, that doesn't mean that I'm a Perfect Peaceful Warrior.

Today's run was very difficult as I was dealing with wind gusts of 30 KM/Hr. My hands were so numb that I couldn't feel the tips of them for most of the run. Trying to remain focused on just the running and not on how badly I wanted to get home was difficult to say the least. Living in the moment doesn't mean you are going to enjoy every moment but I do know that these runs continue to make me stronger so I persevere.

As this is yet another race week for me, I'll be once again doing another carbohydrate loading program beginning on Wednesday. The 100 mile race brings so many more challenges to it with regards to nutrition. Gels, which normally work fine for marathons, simply won't get the job done. Instead I'll be "dining" on things like peanut butter and jam sandwiches, boost, flat coke, boiled potatoes and salt, chips, pretzels, chocolate covered coffee beans and anything else that my stomach will tolerate.

A change in philosophy and thinking

Ever since I was introduced to the writings of Dan Millman's Peaceful Warrior, it really has made me take a good look at my own life. It has allowed me to focus more on the present instead of the past or future. I've taken this approach to my running and today it really paid off.

I travelled to Ancaster today where I will be running my 100 mile race next Saturday. I've done the course 2 years ago but haven't been back since. It was an opportunity to run the course and get a feel for what I'll be doing next weekend. I used to do a race/run with the thought of finishing it and what that would look like at the end. I had this mental picture of myself crossing the finish line, hands held high and having a smile on my face. In my quest for that "picture" though, I realize that I've been missing out on enjoying the journey to get there.

This is not an easy philosophy to grasp as it's so easy for me to work from goal to goal. I don't want to miss out on the excitement that getting to that goal brings though because then I'm living in the future instead of the present. When I did my 20K run this morning I tried to focus on just my running and not on things in the past or future. When the rain started to pour down it became harder not to focus on just finishing as fast as I could but when I started to let my mind drift too much I realized that my running became harder. The more I focused on other things, the harder it became. We all have so much "junk" in our heads so I'm trying to "take out the trash" so that I can concentrate more on the here and now.

In a nutshell, that's what I get out of being a "Peaceful Warrior." It's something that my clients are going to hear about so they'll either have to get with the program or bring earphones to their sessions (LOL). As I've done with running, I want to plant these "seeds" in as many people's heads as I can as I think it is a philosophy that can increase peoples' inner strength. Finding the power from within is something that many of us refuse to do. It's not that they don't have the capability to do so but rather I think it's because they are afraid of what will happen when they let go of their own fear of what will happen in the future instead of worrying about what is happening right now.

The more distance running I do, the more I feel that this philosophy will help me. If I try to worry about how long this race may take then I won't appreciate the steps I'll need to take to get there. Instead of waiting for the finish line to come, I want to be surprised at when it gets there, only then will I have succeeded in living like a true Warrior.

Double duty today

It has been so long since I was able to run in the trails with a group of people so I jumped at the opportunity this morning. This, despite not getting very much sleep last night.

I was very fortunate enough to see an amazing group of dancers last night (Alvin Ailey). To watch these atheletes perform really got me thinking about how graceful and effortless they are. To get to that level they obviously made a committment very earl in their life to become the best they could be as a professional dancer. It also made me appreciate my running even more. In fact, I was so jacked up after watching that performance that I seriously thought about going for a run when I got home. It was that exhilirating.

So, on about 4 hours sleep, I did a nice easy 10K trail run. I made sure to run at a very slow pace and it was nice to talk with people who I hadn't seen in a long time.

After the run I still had so much energy so I asked my friend if she wanted to lift weights with me at my gym. Thankfully she said yes. After a quick change of clothes we went off to the gym to do some circuit training. I always feel better when I incorporate some weight training into my schedule but finding the time to do it becomes a challenge. It felt great to use some machines which I haven't used in a long time since I've been training at home with my weights.

As I write this, my lack of sleep is finally starting to catch up with me and I'm sure I'll take an afternoon nap at some point today. Tomorrow I'm travelling to Ancaster which is the site of my race next weekend.

Setting things up for the weekend

I had a great run on Wednesday morning and took today off completely. With my race coming up it's more important than ever to get as much rest as possible between now and next weekend.

This weekend I'll be doing a run in the Rouge on Saturday and then travelling to Sulphur Springs where my race is. I'll be running with my partner there so we can gauge what our pace should be. This will be the last opportuntiy prior to the race to finalize our strategy.

Last night at my son's baseball game it got so cold and it really hit home at what kind of temperature changes I'll have to endure at the race next weekend. Going from a warm to a cold temperature is going to put pressure on my body to keep itself warm and that really is my biggest fear. I'm going to pack lots of winter gear so that I'll be prepared for sudden drops in temperature.

Last year, at this race, it started to rain towards the end which provided even more challenges to the runners. My friends have told me courageous stories of how injured runners were able to block out their pain to finish the 100 miler which is considered by many to be the holy grail of ultra-marathons.

Next week I'll really start to mentally focus on the race and this is why Sunday's run is so important. I want to be able to have lots of visuals at different check points along the race so that I'll be familiar with the terrain.

All about the trails

Sometimes it's hard getting up so early in the morning to go trail running (4:30 AM) but then again, I see and do things that make it all worth while.

I ran in the rouge today and it was the first time running trails in a few weeks. The last time I ran there I saw one deer pretty close to me. Today I saw two! I also did a water crossing, which I love, and all this before 7:00 AM. Seeing the sun rise in the trails is just another amazing sight to see. When I run my 100 miler in less than a two weeks, I will be counting down the minutes until the sun comes up because I'll be running in darkness for at least 8 hours of the race.

I really feel at home running in the trails and it's so much less impact on my knees that I feel like I could run forever. I'll probably buy my new trail shoes this week and have them ready for my race just in case. I have to start planning on what I want to put in my drop bag. I'll have two of these and I'll make sure they are stocked with things like fuel, bandaids, duct tape for my shoes, bug spray, extra socks, shirts and shorts and warm running gear for the night.

This weekend I'll be running in the trails where I'll be doing my race so that will give me a good idea on the terrain. I did the race two years ago so once I start running in them I'm sure it will bring back good memories. I'll be able to judge where my walk breaks will take place. I want to try and be as consistent as possible with regards to pacing for this race.

A good lesson learned today

I pride myself on being very structured when it comes to my running. I like to do little things before each run and if one of those isn't exactly the way I want it, then I'm not a happy camper. Unfortunately, life doesn't always co-operate with this plan and that is exactly what happened this afternoon.

I wasn't able to run in the morning, my preferred running time, so right away I wasn't happy. Then, to make matters worse, I only had about 10 minutes to get myself ready for my run (I usually like to take close to an hour). Finally, just as I was ready to leave, my mp3 player stopped working. I thought for a second if I should even bother to go as it seemed that everything was working against me. Then after giving my head a shake, I realized that I don't NEED those things to run. I may prefer to have them, but the reality is all I need is my shoes.

The run today was surreal as I was able to hear things that I normally wouldn't when I have my music on. I actually felt a little uncomfortable and even felt like people were watching me more than usual. There were so many more people out on the streets than what I'm accustomed to and obviously more cars as well.

Throughout the run, as I became more relaxed, my Garmin stopped working. This was yet another "toy" that I really didn't need. I'm a big believer in the running Gods and I think they were trying to send me a message today and that is that I better stop relying on gadgets to keep me going, especially with my 100 mile race coming up. We tend to lean too much on "things" and when they aren't there then we quickly give up and use that as an excuse for not working hard. I can't tell you how many clients who have told me that if their trainer calls in sick, they don't bother coming to the gym. Whenever I hear that I know that these are the people who in all likelihood will fall short in achieving their goals. Look within yourself to find your inner strength. Today I got a good lesson in that!

A weekend to reflect

On Saturday I was able to get out and do an 8 mile run and then Sunday I lifted weights for about an hour. The majority of my other time was spent with my kids mostly outside which was amazing.

What fascinates me most about kids is their endless energy. They can just go and go and go some more. Their gas tank is always on full and they get mad when you tell them it's time to stop. When I watch children run they seem so effortless. It's not mechanical it's very natural. I learned quite a bit this weekend watching them.

I took my youngest son for a nature walk as he searched for bugs and he told me how he wanted to run in trail races like I did. I could barely keep from smiling. He then asked me if he could run in a race with me sometime (keep in mind he's 6 years old). I told him of course he could.

As I was running on Saturday, I thought more and more about my 100 mile race. I know that this will be the hardest thing that I've ever attempted in my life. I seem to be at peace with myself lately and rather than be stressed about it, I prefer to just accept whatever will be. I've never been more relaxed than I am now and that has had an effect on my running. I'm starting to avoid looking at my watch more and more but whenever I do, I'm surprised that I'm running faster than I thought.

This past weekend was the Mississauga Marathon. I've done that race twice before. The first time was my first Marathon so my goal was just to finish. The 2nd time was last year and I had been training all winter with the goal of trying to come as close to 3:30 as possible. The races leading up to this one were great and I broke several person records along the way. Everything was lined up perfectly for me and then I suffered from cramps during the race. This prevented me from achieving my goal but I still finished the race.

As I prepare for my 100 mile race, one thing keeps popping into my head and that is how I have never quit any race that I've signed up for. with the 100 miler, there are so many variables that not finishing becomes a distinct possibility. I'm not afraid to fail and I'll use that as motivation instead of a weapon against me. We will see how this all plays out in a few weeks.

Be your own "Peaceful Warrior!"

When I was running with my friend Mike at my race last weekend he told me about this book called, "Way of the Peaceful Warrior." As he started to talk about it and give me some quotes from the book it really made me think. The one question I always get from people when I tell them how far I run, besides "why?" is, "what do you think about while you are running?"

When it comes to ultra marathons, it's best to leave your watch at home because the more you think about how long you are going to be out there, the easier it is for your mind to talk you out of running. I'm blessed to have a very good inner strength but it's something that we all have within us. Many of us fight it, though, and allow our sub-conscious to talk us out of doing things. During those long winter months of training I would have incredible battles with my mind about quitting. It would have been so easy to pack it in and live to run another day but then I would have been giving in to those negative thoughts and it would have made me miserable for the rest of the day.

Building an inner strength or spirit takes time and patience. You must not allow anything to come between you and your goals. You must realize that some sacrifices will have to be made in order for you to actualize these goals. Surrounding yourself with people who share your same interest or passion can go a long way to helping you stay mentally strong. There will be people who will try to sabotage your efforts and they may the people who are most close to you. My take on that is that if they really knew you, they would support your efforts. I don't have time for people who are negative or who fail to see the importance that running is to me. At times that has meant saying goodbye to people but I know that in the long run I have increased my inner strength.

Running, just by its nature, will increase your mind, body and spirit. Unlike any other sport that I've been involved in, there really is no limit to what you can do. I once thought that I would never attempt a run longer than a marathon and now I'm about to do a race which is 4 marathons in a row on one single day. I've already exceeded my expectations with running a 50 Mile race but I know how driven I am and I'm not someone who is afraid of challenging myself.

Here are some incredible quotes from the Way of the Peaceful Warrior

"When you begin your transcendental training, focusing your best efforts, without attachment to outcomes, you will understand the peaceful warrior's way."



It may be true that the unexamined life is not worth living-but neither is the unlived life worth examining.


Wake up! If you knew for certain you had a terminal illness--if you had little time left to live--you would waste precious little of it! Well, I'm telling you...you do have a terminal illness: It's called birth. You don't have more than a few years left. No one does! So be happy now, without reason--or you will never be at all.

If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is a law, and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.

Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is...The only problem in your life is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.

What was I thinking?

I haven't been gettin much sleep these past few days but rather than use that as an excuse I instead tried to relate my 5 AM run to how I'll feel at my 100 mile race. I don't know what state I'll be in on that day but tired will surely be one of them.
When I went downstairs to check my computer I saw that there was a strong NE wind with gusts up to 35 KM/Hr. For a brief second I almost talked myself out of going for a run. Running in windy conditions has got to be my least favorite thing to do and with little sleep (less than 4 hours) it would have been easy for me to just crawl back into my warm bed. I know that had I done that I would have regretted it all day. I won't be able to run on the weekend so had I not run, that would have been a long stretch of time off between runs. I'm sure my body would have appreciated it but I know my mind would not have.

I then got mad at myself for thinking about not running and that motivated me to run even more. When I got outside after psyching myself up, I soon blocked out the fact that it was a pretty windy day. I decided to run for 8 miles instead of my usual 10 and once again it was the right decision. My shoes have barely any support left and it felt like I was running on pavement for most of my run. I'll have to get yet another pair of shoes. I seem to be going through at least one pair of shoes every two months now.

I can't believe what a difference it makes to carry water in my hands instead of around my waist. I don't feel restricted by the belt. I've noticed that my left shoulder is a little sore but I'm not sure what this is from. I try to alternate the bottle from left to right hand so that one arm doesn't get more weighted down than the other.

My race is just over 2 weeks away so it will be time for another taper and carbo-load plan. I'm going to mimick the diet I used in preparation for my 50 Miler although I'm not sure about doing another detox. I'm going to think about it on the weekend and decide on Monday.

What do I think about when I'm running?

I was talking with a client last night and shared with her the story of how I got into running and also about my recent 50 Mile race. She was a competitive swimmer and also did some running as well. When I told her that I was out on the course for close to 11 hours, she asked me what I was thinking about during that time. I had to think for a minute because when she asked me that it finally hit home that I had been out there for that long. Even though the race was over 3 weeks ago, the way she framed that question really got me thinking about what I had accomplished.

I don't think I've done anything, not even sleep, for close to 11 consecutive hours so that put things in perspective. I told her that when I run I often think about my kids, past relationships, my fiance who died as well as silly things like what I want to eat after the race or how many calories I've burned. Sometimes I'll just get lost in the music I'm listening to and start singing out loudly while I'm running. Thankfully I can't hear myself sing or I'm sure I'd stop pretty quickly.

I've been trying to concentrate more on my running form and so I'll visualize the heal/toe strike technique. I also have a quick turnover which means that my strides are short and choppy and I try to lessen the impact of my feet hitting the ground by running this way.

Lately my thoughts have turned to my 100 mile race in a few weeks. As with the 50 miler which I recently completed, I have no expectations of myself other than I want to finish. I have 30 hours to complete this race and it may very well take me all of that to do so. I cannot entertain the thought of me not finishing so I'm trying to stay as positive as possible.

During my 10 mile run today I thought about the race and the many challenges that it presents. I not only have to run for 100 miles I have to stay awake for an entire day so fatigue will play a big part in the race. There really is no way to prepare for this because I'll just have to see how the day unfolds. I'm working on having a crew of people who will be there to support me and that is crucial when attempting this type of race. If anyone is interested in lending a helping "foot" please contact me.

That's more like it!

Unfortunately my trail running friend could not run today as he's recovering from his race on the weekend. With only two days removed from my own race, I decided that I was feeling well enough to go for a run. It still amazes me that I'm able to recover so quickly from running an ultramarathon on Saturday. I suppose all those training runs in the winter are the reason why.

All last week I didn't feel "right" about my running. I'm sure it was the hangover effect from my 50 mile race. While I went out and did some runs, I never went beyong 8 miles. I think I was afraid to go a little longer as I needed to heal myself. Most of the time, doing the smart thing pays off but last week I really think it had an effect on me. It used to be that I needed to run at least 6 miles in order to feel like I accomplished something. More recently, though, I've been running a minimum of 10 miles per day (16 K). If I didn't run at least that much, I felt like I had cheated myself by not pushing myself hard enough.

Today I wanted to push myself so I went out and did my usual 10 mile route. The legs felt great and more importantly, my mind was very focused throughout. I went to bed early last night so I could get up at 5 AM and be on the road by 6 AM. I went out in a light jacket and shorts but forgot one important thing, my gloves. It was surprisingly cold today and I tried everything I could do keep my hands warm but that proved fruitless. I blocked out the cold by thinking of runners who have inspired me such as Terry Fox. I kept telling myself that if Terry could run on one leg surely I could run with my hands cold.

As I made my way home my hands were now red and it was so bad that I could not turn the key to open my door as I couldn't feel my fingers. I've always had trouble keeping my hands warm, even on days when you'd think I should be fine. Because I run so early in the morning, I'm going to have to invest in some light gloves as I don't want to experience what I experienced today any time soon.

Overcoming obstacles, though, is what inspires me to keep running and to keep climbing higher and higher to reach goals that seem unattainable to others. Running works the mind like nothing else I've ever experienced and I use that mental focus to affect other areas of my life. Anyone who questions why I run so much really doesn't understand the importance it has in my life. Then again, I don't run for anyone other than myself so as long as I remember why I run, nothing else really matters.

Staying motivated vs getting motivated, two different things

I take pride in the fact that I feel that I do a good job of keeping someone motivated. It's something that I've learned while working at various jobs that I've had as a counselor. Whether it was working with troubled teens or those with addictions, I always seemed to have a knack for staying positive. I really feel that this has an effect on the people who I deal with.

I know that I also feed off the energy of people and I'm lucky to have some amazing clients who never cease to inspire me. At the same time, there are others who I like to call "energy vampires" because they can literally suck the life out of you if you let them. These are the people who fail to take responsibility for anything that they do and instead would rather place blame on others. They also are very likely to be indecisive about their goals and rarely will put in the time and effort needed to achieve their goals. Unfortunately for these people, until they get themselves motivated, there really isn't much I can do to help. You have to make exercise and healthy eating a priority in your life or you will never achieve your fitness goals. I can provide a great roadmap for what is needed but they are the drivers of their own car and there are no shortcuts to success.

We all have the capacity to dream but very few of us turn those dreams into reality. The ones who do, are rewarded from within and not so much by material things. They also are the ones who are quick to jump from one goal to another instead of taking too long to admire what they just accomplished.

Are you willing to put in the time and effort needed? Only you can answer that question. I hope the answer is YES!

Day after thoughts

I like to do some reflecting on the day after a race. What did I do right? What did I do wrong? What did I learn about myself and what can I take away from this race to help me in the future? I'll allow myself 24 hours to do this and then I have to put it away and focus on my next goal.

I'm more convinced than ever that running on roads is not what I was meant to do. I was joking with Mike that when I was training for a marathon I did my first 50K race in Niagara Falls in under 5 hours. The reason was that I had trained for speed during the months leading up to that race. This winter I didn't do any speed work and focused more on endurance. Now, whenever I start to speed up I really feel it and I know that I'm not prepared to run a speed race right now. When you run on roads, though, it's easy to get caught up in trying to run faster. Running in trails forces me to take my time and concentrate on the terrain rather than trying to run faster. Whenever I do start to run faster in the trails it almost always results in me tripping and falling over a stump or a rock.

I know that if I concentrated on speed work then I could reverse this but right now it isn't my focus and I have to keep reminding myself of that. This is the reason why I'm doing mostly trail races this season. I may only do one more road race in Niagara Falls in June just so I can accumulate more points in the OUS series.

Yesterday I ran with hand-held water bottles and preferred that over the fuel belts. It's funny how I've changed so many different things through the years. I'm also at a point where if I see another gel I think I'll be sick. I've been eating more food during these trail races than ever before. Yesterday during the race I saw a runner with a piece of pizza in his hand while he was running. Maybe I'll have to have pizza pizza on speed dial on my cell phone just in case.....

Today I'd like to do some light biking or go for a walk just to get the kinks out. I'm feeling pretty good right now but getting some lactic acid out of my legs would be a good idea. I'll resume my running on Tuesday morning and do some weight lifting on Monday.

A day of firsts

I just completed my 50K race and in the process managed to discover a few things about myself.

I completed two 50K+ races in the span of 14 days (128K's). I also used strictly food instead of gels and this consisted of boiled potatoes with salt and peanut butter and banana sandwiches on white bread both amazingly good. On a funny note. I often bragged to Ken about never having to make a "pit-stop aka bathroom break" while doing either a training run or at a race. He always laughed and said, "don't worry it will happen." Well, after running the first 10K loop I knew that unfortunately this would be the day. After trying hard to fight it off, I knew it was pointless and luckily for me there was a porta-pottie at the 5K turnaround. Maybe next time I'll run with a package of toilet paper (LOL).

While I wanted to use this race as simply a training run for the 100 miler, I quickly found out that my body hadn't fully recovered both mentally and physically from Seaton. I actually found this race harder than Seaton simply because I strayed too far away from a plan. Because this race was run entirely on ashphalt, I decided not to take any walk breaks and simply run to the aid stations which were 5KM's apart. This strategy worked fine for the first 3 loops (30K) but I still had another 20K left to go. I decided to throw in more walk breaks and would run for 2.5KM's, take a little walk break and then went out again. Unfortunately, the damage was already done and I paid for it during the last loop. This was also the time that it started to rain (go figure).

I was able to run with Mike, who will be running with me during my first 100 miler at the end of the month, during the last 8KM and this really helped. We both commented on the lessons we learned today as he also didn't walk enough early on. This is a mistake that neither one of us can afford to make at Sulphur. Then again, with trail races, there are natural breaks where I'll have to walk up the hills so remembering to walk shouldn't be a problem.

Towards the end of the race, with about 3 KM's left, we saw a runner who was doing a 100 KM race and he was walking. We decided to walk with him for a bit and then did a slow run towards the finish. It's moments like those, which I'll remember and it reminds me of why I love trail running in the first place.

As I crossed the finish line I was excited and I knew that this was just another stepping stone for me as I prepare for the 100 miler at Sulphur Springs. Between now and then I'll make sure that I get mentally prepared for that race as it will require every bit of strength and courage to complete.

It doesn't "feel" like I have a race tomorrow

This has been one of the strangest weeks I've had with regards to preparing for a race. For some reason I haven't prepared as I usually would. It could be a "hangover" from the Seaton race. I keep forgetting that the distance tomorrow (50K) is not something to take lightly.

The worst mistake I ever made was not taking a race seriously and that is something I swore I'd never do again. It was a 10K Thanksgiving run in Guelph, in 2005. By this time I had been running quite a bit and 10K didn't seem like anything to get too worried about. I think I signed up the day before and the kids and I all went together. Marcus did a 500M run while Malik did a 1K run. I was so thrilled to see them run that I kept forgetting I had a race too.

When the gun sounded and I started to run, I quickly found out that a 10K run can be very challenging and this route certainly was. I went out way too fast and it caught up to me very quickly. I knew that I had not prepared mentally for the race. As demanding as running is on my body, there is an even greater challenge in the mind. When I tell people that I ran for close to 11 hours two weeks ago they are amazed that I was able to keep myself mentally focused for such a long time. The long training runs I did in the winter certainly helped prepare my body but it did even more to prepare my mind.

I use mental imagery so much that by the time the race finally gets here I feel like I've run it already. The race tomorrow won't be very challenging with regards to the terrain as it's a 5K out and back loop on a bike path. What it will do, though, is challenge me mentally as I'll have to do 10 total loops to complete the 50K. Today will be an important day for me to focus myself mentally because I don't want to experience what I experienced during that 10K race.

Most of my dreams are about running

I know big surprise right? Well last night was a doozy. I dreamt that I was doing the 100 mile race when one of my friends got hurt. He was exactly half-way through the 20KM loop so it didn't matter if he went forwards or backwards, it was still going to take him a long time to get to an aid station. I decided that I would help him but because he couldn't put any weight on his ankle, I had to hold him up like a human crutch, and walk with him. The walk took hours and it was so early in the morning that all both of us could think of was getting some help. On a side note, in my dream, I was feeling incredibly fresh and ready to run but trail running is more than just about personal accomplishments. To me, a true trail runner doesn't leave an injured runner behind. The fact that doing this good deed put my own race in jeopardy barely crossed my mind.

When we finally made it to the aid station I made sure that my friend was alright before I continued onwards. I knew that finishing within the 30 hour time-limit was going to be difficult and most of me didn't want to continue. However, after getting some much needed encouragement, I went on and finished the race.

I have no idea what this dream was telling me but I do know that I woke up with a smile on my face.

Another race, another carbo-load

Believe it or not, eating bagel after bagel gets boring after awhile. Today I had my last run before my race. It was tough deciding if I should run 10 miles or cut it short. I haven't run longer than 8 miles since my race as I've been recovering. This week I would have done longer runs but with a 50K race coming up, it doesn't make much sense to do a long run.

I played it smart and ran just over 8 miles and I think it was the right decision. It amazes me that I keep forgetting how hard running 50K really is. I've been fortunate enough to do many of them but the reality is that it's longer than a marathon. In the past, when I was training to run a marathon, I approached "race week" quite differently. Now that I'm becoming more experienced, I feel like I could run a marathon or more every week if I needed to. It's amazing how quickly my body seems to respond to the extra mileage.

When I made the decision to run for distance over speed, I seemed to relax more than ususal and that has helped me with my running. I no longer go into a race thinking about beating a particular time. In fact, there was a point in the Seaton race, where I took Diane off the course to show her some of the lookout points at the Seaton trail. That is something you would rarely see at a road race.

During these next two days I'll be resting and eating more carbohydrates to get ready for my 50K race on Saturday. I have no idea how long it will take me but the longer I can stay out on the course, the better it will prepare me for the 100 miler in a few weeks. There is a good chance it will rain on Saturday so that will just add to the fun I'm sure.

On the trails again......

Today was my first trail run since my race in the Seaton trail 10 days ago. I have been taking it easy running mostly on the roads more out of convenience than any other reason. Instead of running in the Seaton today, I ran in the Rouge instead. This is my 2nd favorite place to run in but it seems like months since I have been there. Compared to the Seaton, I find it easier to run in as it isn't as technical but there are still some challenging climbs throughout the course which makes it tough.

It was so nice to return to my "roots" and what made it even more special was when I saw a deer once again. There is nothing more breathtaking than seeing one of these magnificent animals in the wild. That site alone is worth getting up at 4:30 in the morning.

I was able to retell my Seaton story to Ken during our run today and it reminded me of how special that run truly was. As I prepare for my first 100 mile race at the end of May, I'll cling to those memories and will use them to motivate me when it gets tough to concentrate. I'm treating this race as more of an adventure than anything else. I know that if I relax and have fun with it I'll be fine. As soon as I start to overthink what I'm trying to do then I know I'll be done for.

My legs feel very good and I think that I've fully recovered from my last race and I should be good to go for Saturday's 50K. This race won't be on trails (unfortunately) so the hardest part about it will be staying focused. I'll be using music throughout and I hope to complete the race in 5 hours or less.

Is it April or December?

After taking the last three days off to rest my legs, I was back at it this morning at 5 AM. I didn't really have much of a choice as far as running this weekend anyway because I was watching my 2 boys. However, the three of us did get to go one of my favorite places, the Rouge for a little trail walk. The days off allowed my body to finish healing from my 50 Mile race. As stubborn as I can be, I know that I probably would have run this weekend if I didn't have my kids and that probably wouldn't have been the wisest of decisions. I was able to do about an hour of weight training on Saturday morning.

As for the run this morning, did someone forget to tell the weather man that's it's almost May? I was able to run in shorts, a long sleeve technical shirt and jacket but I had to wear gloves as it was pretty cold outside. Throw in the 35 KM wind gusts and rain, and I thought it was December for a second. On the bright side, I did see a Fox when I was running this morning. We both looked at each other for a brief moment and then we both took off. I usually run into rabbits, skunks, squirrels, deers, beavers and dogs, but this was my first fox sighting.

I've been slowly increasing my weekday runs as I'm in between races right now. I will be using my upcoming 50K race as more of a tune-up for my 100 mile race at the end of May. In all likelihood, this will be my longest run before the 100 mile race although I may try to sneak in a long trail run if I can.

It's amazing how out of shape I "feel" when I take more than one day off from running. Whenever I don't run it's like a part of me feels cheated somehow. I will continue to run up until Wednesday at which point I'll do a mini carbohydrate loading program.

I've had so many people approach me about Isagenix and the effectiveness of the program. Those who know me will attest to the fact that I would not endorse a product that I didn't believe in. When I did my last cleanse I really feel it gave me the mental preparation I needed to complete my first 50 Mile trail race. I plan on doing it again before the 100 miler at the end of May. For anyone who needs a kick-start to their eating plan or who wants to lose 7-10 pounds, I urge you to consider the 9 or 30 day Isagenix Detox plan.

http://blazingtrails.isagenix.com/ca/en/home.dhtml

Races, races, everywhere I turn!

The Ontario Ultra Series (OUS) started with my first race last weekend and the races continue until the middle of October. There are 13 races that I could enter between now and then but I'll probably do at least 1/2 of them. That works out to at least 1per month. The best part is that because there are so many available races, I don't have to do long training runs. Instead I can run shorter distances during the week and then focus on the races.

For example, next weekend I will be doing a 50K race. Unfortunately it won't be on trails but it will still be nice to see many of the familiar faces that I saw at the Seaton race. I will use this race as a tune-up for my 100 mile race which comes at the end of May. In between these races I will do some shorter trail runs to stay in shape.

Today I had the pleasure of teaching a client how to run. She did an amazing job and I can see her eventually doing longer runs in the near future. Today reminded me of the first time I ran. I didn't have the proper shoes or clothes and I didn't know anything about what kind of running form I should do. Maybe that was a good thing as I simply fell into what "seemed" comfortable for me. I know that the biggest trick to running is to relax and try not to become too mechanical. As my client progresses through each hurdle that I give her, I know she will begin to get even stronger and stronger. Who knows, maybe she'll complete her own 50 Mile race someday.

Great work Karen!

Why run a 100 mile race?

When I finished running the 50 mile race last Saturday I was asked by so many of the trail runners when I was going to attempt my first 100 mile race. Most of them encouraged me to do so because they said that I had done well for my first 50 and that I was in shape physically to do so. Running a 100 mile race was something that I actually never thought about doing because I hate running at night (LOL). However, I was so surprised at how quickly my body bounced back after running the 50 that I said "why not try it?"

As soon as I made the decision to run the Sulphur 100 Mile race, I was encouraged by even more of my fellow trail running friends. I was lucky to get an email from one runner who is also attempting his first 100 mile race at Sulphur and we have agreed to run the race together. This will help to take the pressure off and honestly I'm going into this race as I did with my first 50 which is just to finish. I have 30 hours to complete this race and I'll likely need all of those. I also know that there have been much better runners than me who have tried many times to run a 100 mile trail race but who haven't suceeded yet.

Between now and the 26th of May, I'll do some practice running at night. I'll probably set my alarm for 1 AM and do a 10 mile run just so my body can get used to the idea of running that early in the morning. I'm also going to try and get a practice run in at Sulphur so I can get used to the conditions there.

During my 5 AM run today, my hands got really cold so I know I'll have to purchase some thin gloves as I'm sure the temperature will drop dramatically at my race. The one thing I'm most fearful of is having my core temperature drop too low during my race. I'll have to bring at least one or two changes of clothes for my race and most likely will go through two pairs of trail shoes as well. I noticed that after the Seaton race my new trail shoes already have holes in them. This will be my last pair of Brooks Cascadias as I simply cannot afford to keep buying a new pair of trail shoes for each race/run that I do. If anyone can recommend a more sturdy trail shoe, please let me know.

Good run today

Today I wanted to test the legs and see what kind of "juice" I had in them. I realized quite quickly that I wasn't about to set any distance records as my legs felt a little heavy. Overall I was pleased with my 10K run and it was just nice to get out there after taking the last 3 days off.

Having never run a 50 mile race before, I had no idea what kind of recovery plan I should follow. While there are literally dozens of 50 mile training programs on the internet, I had a hard time finding any recovery plans. I guess with ultra marathoners you don't need a recovery plan.

Now that I've made the decision to run the 100 mile race at Sulphur I won't have to do much training for distance between now and then. I'll do a 30k or 50 K run next weekend but that will be my last long run until the 26th of May which is the day of the race.

Tomorrow I'll do a similar run as today and then probably take the weekend off to get more rest. I may do a light weight training workout on Friday and I'm sure I'll be sore as I haven't done any weight training in the past three weeks.

Ready to go again

I cannot believe how quickly I've been able to heal from the race on Saturday. It looks like all those runs in the winter really helped prepare me. I'm going to do my first post 50 mile run tomorrow (just don't tell my kids ok?) as I feel the need to run. I'll just run for fun tomorrow and for the rest of the week. I'll only go as far as I feel I want to.

I'm seriously thinking about doing a 100 mile race and maybe even sooner than expected. I will discuss with a few ultra runners that I know, but if I get the green light from them, I may do the 100 mile race in Sulphur Springs at the end of May. I want to make sure that I'm not pushing myself too much too soon and I know it will much harder to duplicate what I did on Saturday. I also realize that there have been better runners than me who have attempted the 100 miler and failed. As with the 50 miler, I won't know if I can do it until I try to do it. There may never be a "right" time but the way I'm feeling now, it may be that the right time is now for me. I should know in a week or two.

Now what do I do?

When I woke up this morning it finally hit me that my training has finished and my goal was accomplished. I'm someone who needs to live goal to goal so I have a few more races planned for the spring and summer months. They include at least 2 more 50mile trail races, an endurance race (either 6 or 12 hours, not sure which one yet) and possibly a marathon.

My immediate goal is just to heal myself from this weekend. My kids made me promise them that I wouldn't run until Thursday so that's what I'll do. I'll probably start doing some light biking over the next two days so my legs can recover quicker.

It is a little bit of a downer knowing that my training has finished as I looked forward to each run as I used it to build momentum for my race. After talking with several experienced ultra runners on the weekend, I realized that I don't need to do much training between races right now. My training was done in the winter months. Now I can use the runs to sharpen up different areas and then I should be fine for the races.

For example, my next 50 mile race will be at Sulphur Springs in May but I probably won't do anything longer than a 30K run between now and then. That doesn't mean I'll stop running but I can be smarter about my running between now and then.

I don't think I'll have any difficulty taking the next few days off from running as I have too many blisters right now anyway. I'll take these days to reflect on what I did right and what I did wrong during my last race and then I'll have a strategy ready for the next time I run.

Mission accomplished

Today, finally, I can call myself an Ultra Marathoner!

The day started out as it usually does before a run, I had my normal pre-race tea with banana. I decided that today I needed a little more inspiration so I put on one of my favorite movies, Forrest Gump, and jumped to the scene where he is sitting on his porch and contemplating life. Just then he gets up and starts running. That part of the movie, to me, sums up my life and sometimes I wish I could just run forever.

I headed over to the race at 6:30 and was greeted by many of my trail friends, all of whom knew that I was doing my first 50 Mile race. They all offered support and encouragement.

At 7:00 AM we started running and I knew right away that this was going to be a very special day. I purposely didn't listen to music for the first lap (26 K) as I wanted to save my music for when I really needed it. I ran a little faster than I had wanted to, but I felt really good so I just went with it. I decided not to take any scheduled walk breaks and instead just walked the hills and ran the flat parts. The Seaton Trail has 6 climbs so it worked out perfectly for the first lap anyway.

Two amazing friends were volunteering at the race and when I saw them for the first time it gave me so much energy. I really can't thank them enough for being there because it made me look forward to seeing them and that kept me going. When I got to the turnaround point of the first loop, I realized that I would be coming back there two more times. I realized that I better start to slow down a little which is what I did.

Along the way back from the first loop I ran into a good friend and she asked me if I wanted her to run with me for my final lap. It didn't take me long to say, "YES!"
Knowing that she would be there for the final lap again made me look forward to something very special. Diane is an amazing trail runner and I was able to spend some time with her and Henri, her boyfriend, who I call the "Ultra Power Couple." They both are tremendous runners and I've learned so much from both of them.

I finished my first loop in just over 3 hours which was faster than I was planning on going. I knew that if I wanted to finish strong, I better slow it down. I put my music on for the first time and that seemed to energize me quite a bit. At the same time, I was also trying to remember to go slower. I knew that at some point I was going to hit that wall of pain but I just didn't know when.

The 2nd loop actually went pretty well and I managed to stay pretty strong throughout. One of the things that really helped me was salted potatoes. I had one of these towards at the halfway point of the 2nd loop and that really gave me plenty of energy. At this point I was getting tired of taking my gels and the thought of another one would have made me sick. I decided not to take anymore after I had that potato. Unfortunately they were the only aid station that had those potatoes so each time I stopped and looked for them, I couldn't find them. I used bananas, chips and watermelon for the rest of the race.

I reached the end of the 2nd loop at 6 hours and 40 minutes. Diane was waiting there for me and after refilling my water and electrolyte drink we were off. I felt very tired for the last loop and ended up walking quite a bit at the start. Eventually I would start to feel a little better and was able to run a little more. I had to stop to go to the bathroom about 4 times and during the river crossing I took a faceplant into the water. My legs were very rubbery at that time but the cool water seemed to help.

Diane asked me if this was now the longest run either in terms of distance or time that I've ever done and it made me realize that yes this was. By this time I was 8 hours into the race and had run close to 65K's. Running on the roads is one thing, but running in the trails adds another dimension. My longest training run was 5 hours and my longest race was a 50K trail race in Haliburton, so this was all uncharted waters for me. Although I had to walk quite a bit, it never entered my mind that I wasn't going to finish. Diane and I talked about everything in our lives and this really helped while we were running.

We reached the final turnaround point with plenty of time to spare. I needed to be at this point within 10 hours or I would be disqualified. I was just over 8 hours so I knew that no matter what, I was going to finish this race. I felt stronger on the way back home and was able to run a little more than at the start of this loop. I'm sure knowing that I would be done soon helped.

Diane asked me what my goals were and I told her that finishing was the first goal, under 11 hours was the 2nd goal and my dream goal was 10 hours. I knew that I was going to hit my first goal so it was just a matter of what other goal I was going to achieve. As I hit the 10 hour mark I still had another 5 K's left to go. Unfortunately my garmin watch died as I realized that the battery life is only good for 10 hours. My dream goal was not going to be reached but finishing under 11 hours was still there for the taking. I was able to find enough strength, even after running for so long, to pick up my speed a little bit.

There was a runner who was ahead of me for most of the race. Everytime I got closer to him he started to pick it up a little which was demoralizing. At this point in the race I needed something to motivate me and he was it. Eventually I was able to pass him and that gave me a huge boost of confidence.

I crossed the finish line at 10:54 and I was greeted by applause by the runners who were still there. I gave Diane a huge hug and the moment hit me that I had just run my first 50 mile race on one of the toughest courses in the series. So many people congratulated me and it was very overwhelming.

All those runs in the winter really paid off and I am very proud of what I have accomplished. Without missing a beat I was asked by so many people what my next goal is going to be. I told them that I want to run another 50 mile race. I was encouraged by many to run a 100 mile race. I may just do that........

A special thanks go out to Diane, Karen, Christy, Alleth and Janell. You women made this day extremely special to me and I'll never forget that.

It's only a day away..........

With apologies to "Annie."

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!

Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!

When I'm stuck a day
That's gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh!

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You're always
A day
A way!

I finally got a good nights sleep last night which is good thing because typically the night before a race I don't get much sleep. Today will be filled with lots of positive thoughts, feelings and emotions. I've already got the two movies picked out for today (Remember the Titans and Rudy) and my food is close at hand. I will make sure that my last meal is exactly 12 hours before the start of my race which means I'll have a big pasta dinner at about 6:00 PM. This will give my body a chance to fully digest the meal and will also allow me to run on close to an empty stomach in the morning.

I'm going to make a bunch of pancakes and then put them in plastic bags and use them during my race. I find them very easy to digest and they provide just the right amount of carbohydrates for me.

I want to thank everyone for their support during these last 5 months of training. If anyone is interested in coming to cheer me on at the finish line, please contact me and I will give you the information.
(gregdcruz@rogers.com)