I'll never forget the feeling I had before, during and after my 1st Marathon in May of 2006. Before I started running in the fall of 2005, the thought of doing a marathon was something that was not only foreign to me, but something that I honestly had no desire to do.
I've always wanted to have a sense of "belonging" in my life. As the youngest of 5 children, I always seemed to be in the shadow of my other siblings. This was particularly true with regards to my brother who always seemed to do things better than I could. I found that I isolated myself for most of my life, especially in my marriage. This, I feel was one of the factors that led to my separation in the spring of 2005.
I was first introduced to the great sport of trail running by a woman who was and still is an amazing ultra distance runner. The very first time I ran with her in the trails I knew that this was where I needed to be. I'll never forget the feeling of euphoria I felt immediately after the run. Many runners call it the "runners high" but whatever is, I knew that I couldn't get enough of it.
I was more than happy running trail races and didn't even think about running a marathon. In fact, the first two races that I ever did were 25K trail races, both of them in the fall of 2005 without any training. I was able to complete them in respectable times but for me it was more important just to finish them.
My relationship ended with this woman, but my passion for running continued. I didn't have an outlet for my running and I was still very much a novice to this sport. One of my friends at the gym told me about a running clinic that was starting in the fall of 2005. I decided to sign up for the Hit the Road Running clinic. I went into that clinic not knowing more than a few people but by the end of the clinic I was actually doing a presentation on nutrition for the members. I met some amazing friends from that clinic and most of us ran not only the Boxing Day 10Mile race together but a few others including my first 1/2 marathon (Angus Glen).
That's right, I actually did my first 25K race before doing my first 1/2 marathon (LOL).
Most of the runners in this clinic had done at least one marathon and they would often talk about how amazing their experiences were. Some had even done or were trying to qualify for the Boston Marathon. At that time I didn't know how significant the Boston Marathon was. I was very much content in running trail races.
However, my feelings of wanting to "fit in" got the better of me and when I learned that most of them were going to do the Mississauga Marathon in 2006, I decided to enter it as well. I was doing mostly trail races though, and didn't have any type of plan to follow. My main objectives were just to run the race, finish it in one piece, and call myself a "Marathoner."
What made that day in May so special was the fact that a few of us were going to run our first marathon together. Luckily we had a very experienced marathon runner to show us the ropes. I couldn't have asked for a better group of runners to run with and, as it turned out, three of them have become my closest friends.
Even today I can still remember the sound of Theresa's voice telling us not to go out too fast and to pace properly. She has so much experience and wisdom that I hang on her every word. We all had an amazing time doing that race. The only bad thing about it was the cold temperatures and the heavy wind towards the end of the race. I completed my goal of finishing the marathon and I was able to celebrate with two of my friends (Ken and Miriam) who both qualified for the Boston Marathon on that day. They were so excited about their accomplishment but I still didn't understand the significance of their accomplishment.
Running as much trail races as I had done up to that point (well over 12) taught me that running slow and steady was the way to go. This seemed to fit me well as I didn't think that I was a very fast runner anyway.
After the Mississauga marathon was finished, I continued to do more trail races as I was entered into the Ontario Ultra Series running series.
In June of 2006 I attempted my first ultra marathon (50K) in Niagara Falls. Two weeks before the event, I asked Theresa if she would like to do the race with me. I was so happy when she agreed to come and we had an amazing time at the event. It was, though, my worst race as I felt like I had nothing left at about the 35K race. I still managed to finish, though and will never forget seeing her cheer me on as I finished that race. If she hadn't been there that day, I honestly don't know if I would have continued running. It was, up to that point, the only time I ever contemplated giving running up.
The thought of doing another marathon didn't enter my mind again until I had the opportunity to go to Hawaii as part of a fund raiser for Arthritis. The idea was to go there and run the Hawaii marathon in December. Hawaii was a place that I have always wanted to go to and the thought of combining my passion with a great vacation was something that got me very excited. Still, the marathon would not be something that I would be "racing" but instead it was going to be more about enjoying the scenery and enjoying the vacation with a marathon thrown in for good measure. The person I was dating at the time was going to do her first marathon so I was more than happy to help her reach this milestone.
Unfortunately things didn't work out and I never got to go to Hawaii or run the marathon. I'd be lying if I said that this wasn't devastating. Much of my running after that was very emotional. I found out how truly therapeutic my running was for me. As it turned out, this turn of events kick started my running into high gear.
My two boys and I were going to Jacksonville, Florida to celebrate Christmas with family there in lieu of me not going to Hawaii in December. I felt that I was such an emotional wreck that some time away was necessary.
It turned out that there was a marathon in Jacksonville three days after we arrived. It was now late early November which only gave me about 5 weeks to train for the marathon. Most training programs call for 16 weeks or so. I figured that since I had done so many trail races (now up to 20+) I should be ok to run the marathon.
I discussed with my closest friends whether I should try and race the marathon or just run it for fun. I would be running this race alone in a strange city and the weather was going to be warmer than I had been training in. I'll never forget the conversation I had with Nancy where she told me that I was actually a fast runner. Those words literally changed how I saw myself and I decided that I would try to run that race as fast as I could.
As part of the training plan that Theresa had given me, I had to run a 10Mile (16K) race in Whitby.
Even though I had done many races up to this point, I was never more nervous than I was for this race. I wanted to run the race in 1:20 which was a 5 min/K pace. Nancy was volunteering that day and she could see how nervous I was. She was able to explain why I was feeling this way as I had never given myself a time goal before.
I had the race of my life that day and finished in 1:13 or a 4:35 min/K pace. I had never run that fast in my life for that long and it gave me so much confidence that I use that race now to keep me motivated.
The Jacksonville Marathon was now only a few weeks away and I wanted to do that marathon in 3:45 to 3:50. The one and only marathon that I had done was done in over 4 hours, so anything better than that and I would have been happy with.
During that race I became very emotional and angry about not being able to run in Hawaii. I remember having a very "angry" run and it was if I was trying to dump all my negative feelings on the road. I think that I ran with my fists clenched for most of the race. My closest friends know that I am a pretty upbeat and positive person so this was a side of me that I'm glad they didn't get to see. I'm also glad that it only lasted until after the race. When I finished the race, I felt emotionally drained as well as physically exhausted. I ran the race in 3:39 but it was more relief than joy that I felt. It wasn't until I got an email from Nancy and Theresa while I was in Florida that I realized that I had taken more than 20 minutes off of my last marathon.
When I came back to Toronto I wanted to train properly for the Mississauga Marathon for a full 4 months. Nancy trained so hard herself in the fall of 2006 and qualified for the Boston Marathon as a result. I was so impressed by this and it inspired me to want to do the same thing.
I knew that I had to alter my training schedule somewhat since I had to watch my 2 boys on alternate weekends as well as two days through the week. Some weeks I would have to run for 7 days in a row while other weeks I would run 4-5. Unfortunately Nancy and Theresa were not able to train with me as much as I would have liked because they were teaching a marathon clinic themselves. I did some tempo runs with Ken leading up to the Jacksonville marathon so I asked him if he would help me train for the Mississauga Marathon. He not only ran with me but also laid out a plan which I followed religiously. There were times when we were doing our tempo runs together that I came so close to quitting or throwing up (sometimes on the same day-lol) but he always kept me motivated. He taught me not only to run faster but also smarter which was something that took a long time to sink in. There will never be enough words to describe to him what his help has meant to me, so for now I'll just say THANKS KEN!
Along the way during my training, I rediscovered how much nicer it was to run “happy.” So much of my runs in my past were runs because of stress. Training for this marathon kept me so focused and I didn’t allow any outside distractions to deter me from my training. This wasn’t always easy and I wouldn’t have been able to do this without the help of my friends.
I’m looking forward to running this upcoming marathon on an emotional “high” and I can’t wait to see, and run with, many of my friends on Sunday. I seem to be so much happier with regards to my running now, and I’ve limited or eliminated the things that were causing me stress and disappointment and sadness in my life. I know that by the time Sunday comes around I’ll feel like a butterfly wanting to shed his cocoon and NEEDING to fly…. or in my case RUN!
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