My source of inspiration

There are times when I'm feeling down about myself and I have to draw upon the strength from someone very special to me.

She was someone I met while I in College in Ottawa. She was studying child care while I was studying Recreation. She had an amazing spirit even though she suffered from Sickle Cell Anemia, a crippling blood disorder. She had a smile which would light up even the darkest rooms.

After completing my Diploma, I decided to move to Toronto to go to Ryerson for their Nutrition program. When I left to attend Ryerson, I thought that I would never see her again.

Then, without notice, I found out that she had moved to Toronto and we were able to connect again. It was one of those friendships which was amazingly strong and we both knew that the time spent away was not going to break our bond.

During the summer of 1990 she went into the Hospital for a hip replacement surgery. We both agonized over this decision but the Sickle Cell disease had eaten away at her bones and it was decided that it was something that needed to be done.

While working as a Dietary Aide at Sick Kids Hospital, I received a phone call from her Mother and headed right over to the Hospital. During the surgery, the Doctors had punctured her subclavian vein and this resulted in blood developing into her lungs. She fell into a coma for 10 days and I was with her every day and night during this time.

I remember going to stay with her Mother at her house and had one of the most amazing dreams I have ever had. We were both happy and running in some grass fields. I remember the sun being the brightest it’s ever been. At that very moment, the phone rang and it was the Hospital on the other end. By the time we both rushed over there it was too late and she had died.

We flew to Barbados to bury her and I had to be one of the people carrying her coffin. It’s a memory that is still clear today as it was 17 years ago.

During my run today I felt her presence and there are times when I know that she is watching me. I’m not an overly religious person but I do know that she is in a much better place now. We were destined to be married and I look back and think about how my life would have been different but looking back serves no real purpose. Instead when I see someone smile I think about her and how truly remarkable she was.

There are times when I need to draw upon my own inner strength and the memories of her certainly help. The experience I’ve had to go through has literally changed my life and I sometimes look at the trivial things in life and remember about how hard she fought off her illness and suddenly my issues don’t seem so tough anymore.

I decided to write this today, not because I’m looking for sympathy, but rather to share my story about what I use for inspiration. We all have experiences which we can draw upon for strength during times when we need them most. When I start to doubt myself I think about what she would do or what she would say to me and eventually I start to turn things around.

As tragic as this story was I wouldn’t have traded the experience I had with her for anything and I realize that there will be a time when we meet again.

Thanks Ingrid